Acie's
Birth Story
Tuesday, May 27th. My due date. It came and went. 40 weeks pregnant. My beautiful Grandma Barbara's 79th birthday. We called and sang her happy birthday—all that I was up to at this point in my pregnancy. I was going to be pregnant...FOREVER. I was never going to have this baby. I was going to go to 42 weeks, then my midwives would have to induce me because my body was broken. My previous inductions at 39 weeks had broken my body. My body didn't know how to go into labor. Sure, it could dilate, efface, and all that fancy stuff, but go into labor? Nope. It wasn't going to happen.
 |
| Happy Due Date! |
 |
| The app that got me through my pregnancy. |
 |
We watched "What to Expect When You're Expecting" that night.
Good-bye "due date". |
The
next three days went by soooo slow. I had a midwife appointment on
Wednesday and everything was normal. They asked if I wanted to be
checked for any progress, but I declined. I didn't want to get my
hopes up and get excited that labor was going to start, because, it
wasn't. She mentioned the word again. Induction. I hated that word. I
wanted to avoid an induction like the plague. But it was inevitable
past 42 weeks, according to them. It stressed me out to no end to try
and think of how I was going to avoid it since I was still going to
be pregnant at 42 weeks, without a doubt. But I left the appointment,
ready to take on the next two weeks of pregnancy, or however much
longer it was going to take.
 |
| My "uterus-friendly" snacks. I don't miss them! |
 |
| The view on my way home from my last midwife appointment |
Autumn
had a little party with her school buddies on Friday morning so I
dropped her off there then we picked her back up. At this point, I
didn't want to face another single person and have to answer the “Any
contractions yet?”/”Felt anything?”/”You're STILL pregnant?!”
questions so I didn't get out of the car and talk to the other moms.
I know everyone means well when they ask these questions, but for a
mom trying the natural/no induction route for the first time, it was
really discouraging. We decided to go to Mom and Dad's house because
I didn't feel like being home. I literally crashed on their couch in
their family room for most of the day. I was so stinkin' tired and I
couldn't even peel myself off of the couch if my life depended on it.
Now, looking back, I think my body and mind knew what was coming the
next day and needed to rest, rest, rest. I am so grateful for that
restful day because that night was a really bad night for me. Dad was
home from work and I heard him get a couple of phone calls and he
would say, “Well, she's resting on the couch next to me.” Now he
was getting phone calls with the dreaded, “Any baby yet?”
questions. Yikes.
 |
| 40 weeks and 3 days |
 |
| Trying to enjoy my last days of pregnancy |
 |
| This couldn't have been more true for me those last few days! |
 |
| Abbey hanging out with me while I rested on the couch. I think she even shared her licorice with me. =) |
That
night I slept awful and I was so anxious. I was actually feeling a
bit of anger. Even though I had prepared myself my entire pregnancy
that I would go late, I was at the point where I was so completely
ready for her to come that I was DONE waiting and being patient.
Done. In my little journal on my phone, I wrote at 4:51 a.m.: “Unless
Acie is born today before midnight, she will be a June baby. I dont
know why but I was so convinced she would be here by now even though
I tried to prepare myself for her being late. This is hard. My mind
won't shut off and I can't sleep. I am sooooo anxious. I need some
distractions tomorrow.” I just knew there was no way that was going
to happen. Little Miss would be a June baby. Ugh.
A
few hours later, we all woke up. I wish I remembered exactly what
time but I'm thinking it was around 9:30. We all ate breakfast
together. I had frozen waffles. I felt a contraction after breakfast.
A really weird, back laborish, in my lower back and bottom,
contraction. Nothing big. Nothing intense. Nothing like I ever
imagined it would feel like. I brushed it off. It couldn't be a
“real” contraction. Contractions don't happen in your back and
butt! John asked if I wanted to go to Home Depot so I jumped at it. A
distraction. Distractions are good. I got dressed, we got the girls
ready, and we headed out. I Snap Chatted some family and friends a
picture of me, scowling, with the words, “Baby, Y U No Come Out
Yet?”. The contractions didn't go away. I have no idea how often
they were coming, but they were coming here and there. The same weird
back laborish contractions. As we were pulling into Home Depot, I
said to John, “So, I've been having these smallish contactions for
about the last hour or so. But I'm not putting too much thought into
them. Let's not get our hopes up.” Everything I had read and been
taught was to ignore early labor. Don't time it, don't think about
it, just ignore it. So, that's what I was going to do. I wasn't even
convinced that it was early labor anyways. Just some weird tinges
that might possibly maybe could be some early-ish labor.
So,
around Home Depot we went. We browsed around, looked at plants, John
got some sprinkler stuff, I threw some hook thingies for our trailer
into the cart. And kept having surges. Were they getting more
“intense”? Yep. I think they are. I was walking pretty slowly, I
noticed. And then a sudden bathroom urge hit me. At this point John
was lost in sprinkler la-la land, so the girls and I walked as slowly
fast as we could to the bathroom. Surges were not too intense at this
point. They were still easy peasy. Just weird. I was taking a while
in the bathroom and texted John that he better come get the girls
because I was going to be a while. I knew this could be a sign of
impending labor, but it probably wasn't for me. We checked out and
left the store. John asked if I wanted to go to the Tooele Valley
Nursery to look at shrubs and I said no. I thought I should go home
and take a little nap in case I went into labor that night or
something (but I probably wouldn't).
We
got home and I decided to take a warm bath. I had heard this will
slow down “false” labor or make it go away completely, so I
thought, what the heck. I'll give it a try. The surges were still
there. And maybe felt a little more intense, but I wasn't sure. I got
out of the tub and went to lay down. I laid there for a few minutes
and thought, “I am going to start timing these just for fun.”
There was no way these were the “real” thing so what would it
hurt to time them? Our plan from the very beginning was to head to
the hospital when I was having regular surges, 10 minutes apart. That
way, we would have plenty of time to drive to the hospital and not
risk having our baby in the car! That was NOT going to happen to us!
And everyone goes into labor slowly and regularly, at regular
intervals. Right?
 |
| My glass of Kool-Aid from Autumn. |
So,
I pulled up my fancy little contraction timing app and started timing
away. John brought me an egg salad sandwich and some chips and salsa.
Cute Autumn brought me an ice cold glass of red Kool-Aid. So I ate a
lovely lunch and I timed and timed. I started timing at 2:09 p.m.
Surges were between four and six minutes apart and they were not
slowing down let alone stopping. After timing a few, it sort of hit
me that maybe this wasn't pretend. Maybe my body really was going
into labor. Did it really know how? Was I not broken afterall? So, I
waddled into the kitchen and calmly said to John, “Maybe we should
head into the hospital. We did say we were going to go when my surges
were 10 minutes apart and they are about 3 now.” (at this point
they were about 3 minutes apart). Deep down inside I was thinking it
was still just for pretend because I hadn't been timing them for an
hour so it could still slow down or stop. But since I had no idea how
dilated or effaced I was, I thought it might be a good idea to head
in and at least get checked. I just knew they would tell me I was a 3
and send me on my way. There was no doubt in my mind. He JUMPED up
out of his kitchen chair. He told the girls it was time. They knew
exactly what he meant. The girls grabbed each other's hands and
started squealing while jumping up and down! They were beyond excited
that this might be the day that Mommy finally has our baby that we
had been waiting for!
John
was pretty frantic. He started throwing clothes and stuff into a bag
and said “I guess I should have listened to you and packed a bag
beforehand.” I just smiled and went about changing into my planned
“laboring outfit”, pulling my hair up, and gathering my labor
stuff. I was moving pretty slow. He was a mad man. I decided to brush
my teeth because of the lunch I had just eaten. He stopped and said,
“You are brushing your teeth??!!” Um... yeah! I couldn't go to
the hospital with smelly breath! And at this point, we were just
going to the hospital to get checked. It was going to be hours, days,
weeks, before I was having this baby! I was still in utter denial.
We
all got into the truck to take the girls to Grandma and Grandpa's
house and to pick up Katie. John said, “If Katie isn't ready, she
will have to meet us there!” I had a pretty intense surge in their
driveway right as they came out to kiss me and wish me luck. I had to
close my eyes through this one and felt like I couldn't really talk.
Hmmm. This was new. I decided I should probably text my doula. I was
still timing my surges and they were at about 2 minutes apart now. I
texted her at 2:47 p.m. “We are heading to the hospital. Surges are
coming quick.” Katie hopped in the truck and we were off. My doula,
Katia, called me while we were still in Tooele. I don't remember much
of our conversation because they were really starting to get intense.
I think she called Katie or Katie called her to give her directions
to the hospital. I decided to wait to text my birth photographer
because I didn't want her to come all the way down to Murray from
where she lives, for nothing. I was still convinced, CONVINCED, that
this was early labor and I was only going to be dilated to a 3.
Katie
asked John what she could do and John mentioned doing some light
touch massage on my arms. My cute sister, so eager to help, ran the
backs of her fingernails down my arms and I about lost it. I threw
her hands off of me and said, “Please don't touch me!”. I did NOT
want to be touched or bothered in any way. The surges were getting
more and more intense with each one and were taking my FULL
concentration.
 |
| I snapped a selfie while listening to my HypnoBirthing track. |
 |
| Surge Breathing through a monster contraction! My face says it all! |
When
we got to Lake Point, I decided it was time to get into my deep
relaxation with a HypnoBirthing track. I was pretty irritated by
everything around me and I knew it would help me to relax through the
surges. It worked wonderfully for the whole track. I used my surge
breathing and was really able to cope with the surges like a champ.
John even mentioned how quiet I got so he thought the surges had
stopped completely. At some point I decided to text Kelley, our birth
photographer, and let her know we were headed to the hospital. I told
her not to rush and take care of her family before she comes down. I
texted her at 3:12 p.m.
 |
| In between surges. We are both smiling because we weren't panicked yet! |
I
decided to go deeper into my relaxation by listening to some white
noise on Pandora. The sound of rain and ocean waves were very calming
to me so I thought it would be perfect. It was not a good idea. I
couldn't find anything I liked and a commercial came on for LDS
Hospital Labor & Delivery of some actress pretending to be in
labor. I took out my headphones and threw my phone down. The surges
were not getting intense anymore. They were full blown surges now. I
started to feel pressure in my bottom and I knew. She was coming. And
there was no stopping her. I said outloud, “Sh*t, John. We waited
too long.” I don't swear very often but it just came out. The panic
set in. Our baby girl was going to be born in the car. There was no
way we were going to make it to Murray. We hadn't even made it to
I-15 yet. I was a wreck and I was in pain. I started moaning through
the surges. A deep moan that I had seen other laboring moms do in
natural labor videos. It really helped. I was able to concentrate on
the surge and make it through them. I knew this pressure was a good
thing—it meant my body and my baby were doing their jobs!
We
had almost made it to the 5300 S. exit when the pressure in my bottom
was so intense, I knew her head had to be coming down. As part of my
“laboring outfit”, I was wearing a stretchy black maternity
skirt. I had already decided that I was going to labor in my OWN
clothes at the hospital and not a hospital gown. I thought a skirt
would be perfect and comfy. At this point, I clicked off my seatbelt
and I took off my underwear. She was coming and I had to get ready.
This made John panic even more because he really started driving like
a crazy person, even more so than before! We were soooo close to the
hospital. I really, really didn't want to have her in the truck! And
especially not while it was still moving! I remember John cutting off
a truck by trying to make a right turn at the light. The truck honked
at us and I'm sure gave us a not-so-friendly hand gesture. By the
tender mercies of God, we pulled into the front of Labor &
Delivery at IMC Murray. John asked me what he should do and I think I
pointed at the doors of the hospital and said “wheelchair.” I was
moaning through my surges and I'm sure I looked like a crazy person!
I have no idea if anyone was around or saw us pull up but I'm sure it
was a like a scene straight from a movie! A nurse or two rushed out
with a wheelchair and came to my door. I was right in the middle of a
HUGE surge and she was coming down. The nurse, Wendy, told me I
needed to get into the wheelchair. I put up one finger so I could
wait until the surge was over. She let me wait about 3 seconds and
then told me at this point, it wasn't going away and that I needed to
get in the wheelchair. She was right. It didn't go away. So I go out
of the truck and into the wheelchair and they wheeled me into Labor &
Delivery. It was like every scene out of every movie with a birth. I
was such a cliche! I was breathing and moaning like a mad woman. I
was in full-blown crazy chaotic Hollywood movie labor. They pushed me
through the double-doors in a mad rush. I have a hazy memory of a
cute, pregnant mom sitting in a chair in the hallway with her husband
as they wheeled me by. I'm sure I terrified that poor mom!
 |
John's truck in front of the hospital. We left it there because there was no time to go park!
(photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
They
got me into the room where I would give birth to my baby. Room 1. I
stood up out of the wheelchair and went over to the side of the bed.
I leaned over a little bit but it felt awful, so stood back up and my
water broke, no...EXPLODED,
all over the floor. See, Hollywood birth scene... I was SO grateful
it didn't break in John's truck! Everyone quickly got panicky. They
sort of acted like they didn't know what do with me. A mom coming
into the hospital, already in labor? She wasn't induced? What is
this? What felt like about 30 people, filed into the room. They
needed to get a heart rate reading on baby so they used the doppler
but I was moving a lot because, well, I was ready to push my baby
out! They got a really low reading on her and that made them panic
even more. The told me to get on the bed so I used all of my strength
and got into a hand and knees postion which felt pretty good. They
checked me and imeddiately knew that baby was coming NOW. They asked
if I wanted to push like this and I said yes, so I started to breathe
baby down. They called for the NICU team because they were so worried
about her low heart rate. When they came in, they were holding some
equipment and John immediately went over to them and said “No
epidural. She doesn't want an epidural!” They looked at him very
confused and told him they were there for the baby and not to give me
an epidural. I am so proud of him for being so ready to defend my
desire for a natural birth!
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
In
my HypnoBirthing classes, we learned to “breathe baby down” and
to avoid coached or “purple pushing”. For some reason, I really
put a lot of focus/thought/attention into this and I really took a
lot of time to study and learn it. It just felt so right to me to let
my body do the work of urging my baby down the birth path rather than
push with all of my might and force baby out. That didn't feel right
to me so I was really excited to breathe my baby down. Well, the
nurse and OB did NOT like this one bit (I didn't know it at the time,
but because it was a Saturday, there wasn't a midwife in the
building. They are on-call on the weekends and of course I didn't
call her because I didn't believe I was in labor. So, I got the OB
that was there that day.) So guess what they did. They threatened a
“surgical birth.” I am not kidding. They said to me, “You need
to push this baby out NOW. Your pushing will be the difference
between a surgical or a vaginal birth.” Now don't get me wrong, I
understand the urgency that sometimes arises when a baby is in
distress, but I felt like their approach was so WRONG and not the
right thing to say to a mom that is getting ready to push a baby out
of her VAGINA. They kept trying to get a heart rate reading on her
and they weren't getting numbers they liked but I am fully convinved
that they weren't getting accurate readings. I kept hearing them say
that had no way to guage how long baby had been in “distress”
because they didn't get to see every tiny detail of my labor. Well,
guess what folks, I had only been in active labor for about the past
HOUR.
So,
after they got so disgusted with my “pushing” technique, they
told me I had to get out of this position and onto my back. I refused
to get on my back. I wasn't fully able to communicate how or what I
wanted to at this point, but I remember saying outloud, “I will not
push on my back!” So, the OB “let” me lay on my left side. My
cute husband stepped in and said, “Clarissa, do what you want to
do. Do you want me to tell them to back off?” But I was okay with
being on my left side. I knew this was a good position to push in and
still allowed my body to push sucessfully rather than flat on my
back. They asked if they could do an internal monitor to get a good
reading of baby's heart and I think I okay'd it. After they inserted
it, the OB said her heart rate was fine and within normal range. I
knew my baby was okay. I knew if I could just listen to my body and
breathe her down, she would be born easily and peacefully. But this
was a random, on-call OB, who I am sure doesn't have a lot of moms
that go natural or don't get induced, so she still didn't know how to
deal with me. In her mind, it was time to get this baby out as fast
as humanly possible. So they all yelled at me to “PUSH!!!!” and
to “PUSH HARDER!!!!” But it felt totally impossible! With every
surge I just felt myself calmly breathe her down and gently urge her
down the birth path. It felt right. It felt natural. But it wasn't
what they were used to or what they felt like I needed to do.
My
doula arrived right at this time and I am so grateful that she did.
She rushed over to my side and grabbed my hand. She calmed me down
and spoke to me like a human. Not some cow on the farm, giving birth,
like this “birth team” made me feel. They kept saying, “This
baby needs to come out. We need to get her out.” Which I am still
not sure why, but I'm sure it's just their whole mindset regarding
labor and birth. So, my dreams of breathing her down were done. I
surrendered and pushed with all of my might and strength. It becamse
so intense that I started to yell with every push. I don't really
remember it being painful, per se, but so freaking intense that I
can't even put it into words. It felt like more than I could handle.
While I was in the middle of pushing with all of my strength, I felt
someone tugging at my arm. I looked up and saw a nurse trying to tie
a tournequette onto my arm! I was highly irritated by this, to sat
the least. I pulled my arm away and said “No IV!” The nurse
persisted and I shook my hand at her and said it again. She gave me a
very dirty look. She was NOT happy with my refusal, but I was okay
with this! Afterall, I was right in the midst of pushing out a baby!
 |
John and I can never put into words how grateful we are for her help. A hug from my doula, Katia!
(photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
My angel doula, Katia Peery
(photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
After
I yelled the first few times, they told me that I had found “the
spot” and to keep pushing and yelling into “that spot”. So I
did. She crowned and I delivered her sweet head. I felt it all.
Everything I had heard about the “Ring of Fire” were true.. it
was intense.. but it was so fast that I have a hard time even
remembering it now! It was incredible feeling it all. So incredible.
I was feeling my baby come into this world and she was coming out
because of ME and MY OWN STRENGTH. They told me one more push for her
shoulders. So I gave all I had into one more push and out came her
shoulders and then the rest of her slid right out. It felt amazing to
experience this without being numb and drugged. I felt an immense
feeling of relief. The pressure/pain/whatever you want to call it,
was completely gone.
My
sweet baby girl was here! I did it! I delivered my baby NATURAL! It
really was a dream come true in so many ways. I had been preparing
for and dreaming about this moment for 10 long months and my
beautiful baby was FINALLY here—and I did it without any drugs! It
was such a wonderful feeling.
As
soon as she was out, they clamped her cord and handed the scissors to
John to cut it. There was no time to pass out my birth plan and go
over all the really important stuff when I got to the hospital.
Delayed cord clamping was a biggie for me. That was hard. That one
really hurt. After doing the research about it, I was so excited to
give my baby this cord blood and give her an amazing start to her
little life. This oppurtunity was ripped away from both of us. I
wasn't even asked about it. Why would they ask? That's not what they
do. They clamp cords and get them cut right away. End of story. And
then whisk baby away to the warmer. Why? Because that's what they
have done the last 50 years and that's that. So, that's what they
did.
They
told me she was struggling to breathe a bit and was pretty blue. In
my mind, what better reason to keep her attached to the cord to pure
oxygen and nutrients?! Anything they do on a warmer can be done on
Mom's chest. I know this. I asked about this to my midwife and I
learned about it in my classes. I am not a crazy person to think
this. I know they tried to assure me it was for baby's health and was
what is best, but I am so sad that I didn't get a say in that. My
sweet husband stayed with Baby and made sure they didn't wipe off her
vernix or do anything I didn't want them to. He said to them “Make
sure you don't wipe off any of that goo stuff.” Yay, thank you,
Honey! She wasn't over there very long and they brought her to me,
totally naked. Which is what I wanted. I wanted immediate
skin-to-skin with my beautiful, brand-new baby girl. I was so
thrilled to FINALLY have her in my arms!! To smell her sweet head and
get to talk to her. The anticipation of that moment was unreal and I
was finally holding my third daughter, goo stuff and all.
 |
| My beautiful baby, skin-to-skin. This moment was a dream come true! |
 |
The only word I can use to describe this moment is BLISS. The oxytocin rush from a natural birth is unreal!
(photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
My
birth photographer, Kelley Anderson, made it to the hospital after
she was born. I should have texted her sooner! Silly, silly me. But
she was able to capture the moments after she arrived. My cute
in-laws had been at the hospital while I was in labor because they
were going to meet us there so I could get a priesthood blessing
before I went into labor. (ha!). My poor father-in-law heard me
yelling my baby out and I'm sure it traumatized both of them to hear
their daughter-in-law going through that. They came in shortly after
I had her and John and his dad gave me an amazing priesthood
blessing. I am so grateful for that moment with my husband and so
grateful my cute father-in-law was there to help him!
 |
My amazingly supportive and sweet in-laws.
(photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
Our awesome birth photographer, Kelley!
(photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
I got lots of skin-to-skin with her and tried to nurse but she wasn't quite ready so I just let her rest her sweet little head on my chest. It was incredible! Why didn't I get to do this with my other babies??Katie let my parents know that she arrived and they headed to the hospital. It was time for her big sisters to meet their baby sister! Finally! They were so cute when they came in. They were in matching outfits that I had bought them and they looked so adorable. They were both so excited to meet her. She was nursing when they got there so they had to wait for a little bit to hold her. She got passed around to everyone and we all soaked her in. Everyone was so excited to welcome her into our family.
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
My sister was there with us through everything. She recorded the birth for us. I am so grateful for her!
(photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
Acie
Lou Stagg. 3:56 p.m. 9 lbs. 21.5 inches.
My biggest baby!
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
My
midwife arrived shortly after and checked me. No tears! How
incredible was that. I thought for sure I would tear because of how
hard I was pushing. What a blessing. She showed us the placenta and
talked to me for a bit, then she left. I felt really sad that she
wasn't the one that delivered Acie, but she was on call, and I should
have called her when we were on our way. Would've, could've,
should've.
 |
I am soooo incredibly grateful for the love and support of my husband during this crazy journey. Even though he thought I was certifiably insane for wanting this, he never stopped supporting me through it all.
(photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
He was meant to be the daddy of girls. He is such a wonderful dad to our three daughters.
(photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
 |
| (photo courtesy of Kelley Anderson, Birth Stories by Kelley) |
The
nurses and staff that took care of Acie and I during our postpartum
stay were all wonderful, loving, caring, and sweet. We were very well
taken care of. Our stay was restful and peaceful! We did LOTS of
skin-to-skin and breastfeeding. She ate like a champ from the
beginning! The nurses were all blown away with how often she nursed
and how well she was latching on already. She slept with me in my bed
both nights and we slept so well. One nurse said to the new nurse
coming onto shift, “She was with Mama all night long!” They both
were excited that I didn't send her away to the nursery... she never
left my side! By the end of the two days, I was ready to come home
and begin our lives with Acie. The CNA walked us to the truck and on
the way down on the elevator, it hit me that my birth experience with
Acie was over. This would be the last time I would be taking this
elevator for my pregnancy with Acie. She was here with us now. She
was finally here. I was having a really hard time controlling my
emotions and pretty much cried the entire drive home. It was a mix of
happiness and sadness. I was so elated that she was finally here but
sad that she wasn't in my belly anymore—a feeling only a mom could
ever understand.
 |
| We did lots and lots of skin-to-skin. It was heavenly! The nurses kept commenting on how sweet it was. I don't think they see a lot of skin-to-skin. Do it! |
 |
| I enjoyed every second of my sweet baby during our hospital stay. I just soaked her in and our time alone together. |
 |
| I loved having my family come visit Acie and I at the hospital! Her big sisters couldn't get enough of her! |
 |
| Such a peaceful angel baby. |
 |
This was our "fancy" last meal at the hospital. The food at IMC was actually pretty good when they could get my order right.
*** |
I
feel like I made a stand for myself and for my baby by doing things
differently this time. I wasn't going to be pushed around and get
absolutely no say in MY baby's birth.
This was MY birth.
MY body.
My
baby.
MY choices.
I
chose to have my care provider be a midwife this time rather than
an OB. My midwives were kind, gentle, understanding, and
compassionate. But most of all, they were respectful and
supportive of my birth plan. OBs are skilled surgeons; they are
not trained in natural, normal, vaginal childbirth. Childbirth is
a medical emergency to them, which I have had proven to me all
three times I have given birth. Get baby out as quickly as
possible. Mothers and babies are on a very strict timetable.
John
and I became much more educated about birth, especially natural
birth, through an amazing Hypnobirthing class taught by Lauralyn
Curtis. I took the classes very seriously along with the practice
that goes into Hypnobirthing. I read, studied, listened, and watched
countless birth videos. I then read and studied some more! I feel
like this helped me in my pregnancy and birth so much! I also became educated by reading any book I could get my hands on about birth. I also joined forums about natural childbirth and asked lots of questions.
I chose a hospital that was supportive of natural childbirth and
also offered waterbirth (which I am so sad I didn't get to
experience this time!). I read reviews and spoke with many, many
moms that had natural deliveries there.
I
hired a doula! My doula, Katia Peery, was an angel from Heaven at my
birth! I am so grateful she was there to calm me down and support
me while I pushed Acie out. She was amazingly supportive and
nurturing. I will forever be grateful for the part she played in
Acie's birth and I can't thank her enough. I highly recommend
hiring a doula (and even better.. MY doula!)
Although
I didn't end up having the calm Hypnobirth that I had planned and
practiced, I am so grateful that I took these classes. The most
amazing and useful thing that I took away from these classes is that
it removed all fear of natural childbirth for me. I wasn't afraid of
it. I knew that my body was MADE for it. I could do it! It gave me
the confidence and knowledge that I needed to achieve a natural
childbirth. Listening to the tracks and affirmations on a daily basis
helped me to have a wonderful pregnancy, especially my last
trimester. I felt at peace with my baby, my body, and my upcoming
birth. I didn't have any fears or doubts after using the tools I
learned in this class. The surge breathing was a huge help on the car
ride to the hospital as well as the relaxation track I listened to!
It convinced me that Hypnobirthing works! And during my birth, John
and I weren't afraid to stand up to hospital staff to make sure my
wants and needs were taken care of. Even though our birth experience
was super short this time, we were both ready to fight for my birth
plan. What an amazing and empowering gift. I want to thank my
instructor, Lauralyn, for this!
What
a crazy, chaotic, whirlwind, amazing, incredible experience. It was
straight from a movie. Not what I had planned. Not what I had
envisioned. But it happened the way it happened, and sometimes we
don't get any control over that. Sometimes births play out exactly
like we dream about, and sometimes you almost have a baby on the way
to the hospital in your husband's truck. But I am really trying to be
at peace with her birth because there are so many parts of it that
did go as planned. I got some of my biggest wants. I didn't get
induced. Score. I didn't have an epidural. Go me! I pushed out my
baby by myself without any forcep assistance or c-section. Wahoo! My
dream of a peaceful, spiritual, and calm water/HypnoBirth went out
the window. But it's okay. A lot of people will say that “A healthy
baby is all that matters.” And I don't agree. A healthy baby is
most important, for sure! But it's not all that
matters. Moms matter too. Our feelings, our thoughts, our desires,
our needs, and our emotions matter too. These are OUR bodies, OUR
births, and OUR babies. These are OUR choices to make and it's so sad
that moms, more often than not, don't get a say in any of these
things. It's time to take back our births, moms! We can have a say in
our births and we can have the births we want.
